Monday, October 7, 2013

More YOGURT results!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha, I found more YOGURTS to taste test!  (See my previous tests here and here.) These tests were separate, and the most unscientific yet.  First, I found a few at Trader Joe's, and just sat eating them on the couch while watching some old Big Bang Theory (a show I had almost forgotten existed, but was reminded of at a hair salon and remembered I found extremely funny a few years ago, so thought I would dig it up and watch more).   I didn't even write down my results, but I remember them well.

The second two yogurts I found at Fred Meyer.  I just ate them at the kitchen table (as in, just now), with water and coffee beans to smell, but honestly they're not even the same flavor, so it doesn't really matter.

I'm planning on another amazing showdown, and I'll tell you more at the end of this post!

Trader Joe's Greek Nonfat Honey: Alright, this stuff was tangy and chalky like any other nonfat Greek yogurt.  Seriously, avoid nonfat Greek yogurt, it is just like ALL nonfat yogurt: not very good.  Don't believe the hype! 2/5.

Trader Joe's Organic Greek Style Nonfat Honey: DISGUSTING!!  I couldn't even finish licking off the spoon after my initial stir.  This was as bad as the old goat's milk and Icelandic Greek yogurts.  It tasted like, I don't know, rotten meat?!  At least the non-organic one was edible, but this was just NASTY. 1/5.

Trader Joe's Greek Honey: Yum!  Creamy, nice balance, tasty full-fat Greek yogurt.  4/5.

Trader Joe's Greek Apricot Mango: This was surprisingly not very sweet.  It's sweetened with fruit juices and has no sugar in it.  The tang of it overpowers the fruity bits, but it was OK. Still creamy and nice, but I'd choose the honey over this one.  3/5.
Note: The two GOOD [full-fat] Trader Joe's yogurts came in the 8oz. tub with lid!!!! Not extinct!!!

Private Selection Amber Honey Greek 2%: OK, tiny bit chalky, tangy, standard yogurt-y, nice texture, would like it a bit creamier. 3/5 Note: the separate honey with this one tasted like normal honey, not like the weird grapey honey from Wallaby and Fage. Also, it was chalky even without thickeners.  Weird.

Mueller Greek Corner Lowfat Honeyed Apricot: Tangy, fruity-fresh peachy sweet, my tongue is tingling!!, good texture, pudding-y, refreshingly NOT chalky.  2.5/5  What a weird yogurt.  I downgraded it half a point because it literally tingled on my tongue.  I don't think yogurt should do that.  Also, if you enlarge the picture, you can see all the wacky thickeners and additives this yogurt has.  Oddly, it wasn't chalky!  The yogurt by itself has sugar in it (it was vaguely sweet), which is also bizarre in these "compartmentalized" types.  It was stupid to have the fruit goo separate; it should have just been blended in.

I guess across the board, I think the various flavors should just be blended in, instead of in these gimmicky separate compartments.  Can't some robot-operated vat-stirrer do all that tedious stirring for me?  Pretty much I want the end result to be uniformly and perfectly blended, sooo . . . let's just take my human error out of the equation and blend it at the factory, OK?

Anyway, here is my idea for the ultimate yogurt showdown!  I want to gather all the GOOD yogurts and have them face off!  I'll try and round up all my previous 4- and 5-star brands.  Then I can actually ENJOY a taste test of all yummy stuff!  I can't get away with giving all of them high marks, so I'll have to rank them.  Heh heh heh, this will be fun!  I wonder if I can rope my book club into participating??

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